Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Planes, Trains and Automobiles" 1987


"Planes, Trains and Automobiles"

This movie starts on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  So I am writing about it today.  This is a great holiday movie.  It has so many classic moments and great quotes.  Yes, it will be quoted extensively.

Neal Page just wants to get home for Thanksgiving.  He needs to get a cab and catch a plane.  Easy, right?

First he loses a foot race to Kevin Bacon.  Then he tries to bargain with a stranger for a cab.

Neal: Sir?... Sir?... Sir?
[runs to man]
Neal: Excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I'm desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.
New York Lawyer: I don't have a good nature. Excuse me. Cabbie, come on.
Neal: I'll offer you 10 dollars for it.
New York Lawyer: [scoffs] Nuh!
Neal: Okay, 20! I'll give you 20 dollars.
New York Lawyer: I'll take 50.
Neal: [Neal pauses, then begins to take money out] All right.
New York Lawyer: Anyone who'd pay 50 dollars for a cab, would certainly pay 75.
Neal: Not necessarily...
[reluctantly agreeing]
Neal: All right. $75. You're a thief!
New York Lawyer: Close, I'm an attorney.
Neal: Have a happy holiday.
New York Lawyer: This'll help!

But as he turns around to see his cab driving away.   He makes the plan to discover his cab thief is his unexpected seat mate.

Del: I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.
Neal: You stole my cab.
Del: I never stole anything in my life.
Neal: I hailed a cab on park avenue this afternoon and before I could get in it. You stole it.
Del: You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.

Soon the flight is diverted to Wichita due to weather and a short two hour flight turns into a nightmare of hilarious proportions.   It starts with Del finding the last motel in the area and the strangers end up sharing a room.  They start off badly.

But manage to sleep comfortably.

[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
They decide to  take a train.  Del arranges a ride.

Owen: I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train?
Del: Yeah, we'd appreciate it.
Owen: Train don't run out of Wichita... unlessin' you're a hog or a cattle.
[Clears his throat]
Owen: People train runs out of Stubbville.

So, the train of course has difficulties and they only make it to St. Louis after catching a bus.  Neal decides that his best bet is renting a car.  But that doesn't work out either.

Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that f**king dumb-a$$ smile off your rosey, f**king, cheeks! And you can give me a f**king automobile: a f**king Datsun, a f**king Toyota, a f**king Mustang, a f**king Buick! Four f**king wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of f**king nowhere with f**king keys to a f**king car that isn't f**king there. And I really didn't care to f**king walk, down a f**king highway, and across a f**king runway to get back here to have you smile in my f**king face. I want a f**king car RIGHT F**KING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're f**ked!

Del shows up with a car and the road trip begins.  In the tradition of all male road trip movies, the car must be uniformily trashed. 

State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

But there are bonding moments and they end up as friends.  Finally, as the turkey is going on the table, Neal and Del make it to dinner on time.

This movie is hilarious and has incredible heart.  I love and miss John Candy.  Happy Thanksgiving, early. 

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