"My Blue Heaven" 1990

“My Blue Heaven”

I love this movie. Excessive quote warning! This movie has so many good lines.

Rick Moranis is Barney Coopersmith, an FBI agent assigned to oversee a mobster that is in the witness protection program. He has led a carefully ordered life behind a desk. One day he comes home and his wife is leaving him.

Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: I'm sorry Barney but it's just not fun here. You're no fun!
Barney: No fun?
Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: You get the oil changed every second Tuesday, you get the car washed every fourth Thursday, you get your hair cut on the eleventh of every month. You never, ever get a different haircut! Barney, look at the way you eat pancakes!
Wally Bunting: How does he eat pancakes?
Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: He has a system for eating pancakes.
Barney Coopersmith: So the bottom pancake gets the same amount of syrup as the first.
Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: He has a system for *everything*!

My husband tends to be a bit of a Barney Coopersmith. My husband has systems. Including a system for pancakes and other food. He has to arrange his food just so. I am usually halfway done eating before he has arranged it the just way he likes it. Then there is order of eating. He wants to save the best bite for last.

If I want to have a taste of his food the timing has to be perfect. I can’t ask too late in the process because he has already timed it so his favorite will be the last bite. It is sometimes difficult to work this out. If he’s having surf and turf, then he must decide which is better, the steak or seafood. He is a tortured soul.

Steve Martin is Vincent “Vinnie” Antonelli. He is going to testify against some bad people and is soon stuck in the suburbs waiting for his day in court. The bags aren’t even unpacked when she leaves him. He soon becomes incredibly bored. Having been a part of the mob since he was very young he has no other skills and starts re-embarking on his former career.

[Vincent Antonelli is questioned about the stolen goods in the trunk of the car he stole]
Hannah Stubbs: The books...
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You have something against books?
Hannah Stubbs: I have nothing about books! I am curious about the books in your trunk.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You see, I was thinking of writing my story, so I bought this one on how to do it.
Hannah Stubbs: Why do you need 25 copies of it?
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: In case I want to read it more than once...

He is very charming and also a bit of a matchmaker. Soon Barney and the Assistant DA, Hannah Stubbs, played by Joan Cusack are in love. So Vinnie still a little lonely finds love in the grocery store.

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section.
Shaldeen: Why is that?
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Because you could melt all this stuff.

One of my favorite parts is when Barney and Vinnie head to New York to testify. There are so many great moments including a well orchestrated escape by Vinnie. But the best has to be Vinnie’s testimony.

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are small and they don't come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there's a lot of dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like Pac-Man until you're dead.

I have quoted that line many times.

There is a lot more to this movie.

More love, baseball,

a mad Marengo and

hitmen in white on white ties that crash the courtroom.

It is a safety movie. Any time it is on, no matter where we come in, we have to watch it. It is great. And you don’t need a system to enjoy it.