"Bull Durham" 1988

“Bull Durham”

This movie is wonderful. My first viewing however didn’t go well.

I was in high school when this movie came out and I went to see it with my mother and my younger sister. Now, movies are something my mother and I like doing together. Mom calls is “going to a show”. It is fun to go with Mom because she usually has a really good time at the movies.

I was looking forward to this movie and thought it was a good idea. There are some movies though that you shouldn’t see with your mother. This is one of those movies.

Susan Sarandon is Annie Savoy. She teaches literature at the local junior college but her true love is baseball. Each year she picks an up and coming star of the Durham Bulls and makes them her personal project for the duration of the season. The opening sums up her character succinctly.

[Opening narration]
Annie Savoy: I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

Kevin Costner plays Crash Davis a catcher at the end of his career. He went to the “show” once. Not like my mom goes to the show. They call the major leagues “the show”. He is also happy to share his feelings on Annie’s sponsorship.

Annie Savoy: Oh, where are you going?
Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pu$$y, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pauses then winks and walks away]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.
Annie Savoy: Oh my. Crash...

Tim Robbins is Ebbie Calvin Laloosh otherwise known as Nuke. He becomes Annie’s project and gets confused with conflicting information from his mentor Crash.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman's pu... pu$$y... um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.

The supporting cast is great. My favorite scene takes place on the pitcher’s mound as the players discuss what is going on outside the game.

Larry: [Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference] Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?
Crash Davis: Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?
[Jose nods]
Crash Davis: . We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.
[to the players]
Crash Davis: Is that about right?
[the players nod]
Crash Davis: We're dealing with a lot of shit.
Larry: Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.

This is one of my favorite movies. I like two baseball movies and both happen to star Kevin Costner. But I can still remember the discomfort of my first viewing. I was sitting next to my mother and she was laughing. It was funny, but I didn’t want my mother to think it was funny. I wanted to be anywhere but in that seat with my mother and baby sister.

I think everyone would like to believe that their parents don’t know about sex and all that goes with it. Even when my mom gave me the “talk” I remember saying “So, you’ve done that five time?” She blushed and said, “Well, you don’t get a baby every time”. I am still traumatized.

I watched this movie a year or so later with my soon to be husband when it came out on video. Then it was sweet and romantic.

Since then I watch what I am going to see with my mother. Funny movies but I try to stay away from some. Of course sometimes they sneak up on you. Another Susan Sarandon movie, “Banger Sisters” which included a few uncomfortable lines. “Walk Hard” which had a sudden penis in it. I may be in my forties, but she is still my mom.