Wednesday, August 24, 2011

"Airplane" 1980

Airplane! (Don't Call Me Shirley! Edition)
Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive a$$ dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

My family never takes medicine. We “catch ya on da’ rebound with da med side”. It is just one way this movie has sunk into the dialogue of our family.

My favorite memory of this movie is when my son was about twelve or thirteen. My husband was really itching to introduce him to some comedy classics. But I am afraid my husband suffers from a serious mental disability. It is call “Booby Amnesia”. He has no memory of nudity in movies. I try to remind him of the boobies, but he always argues. It is really a sad condition. Someone should host a telethon.

When he told me that he wanted our son to watch “Airplane” I reminded him of the boobies.

“There are no boobies.” He insisted.

“There are boobies.”

“When are there boobies?”

“A girl comes right up to the camera, there is jiggling.”

“There are no boobies.” And he put the movie on.

Six minutes into the movie, there they are, BOOBIES!

My son loved the movie. He laughed uproariously. He saw the boobies. He watched it over and over. I voiced that I didn’t like him watching a movie with nudity in it.

“I’m watching for the laughs, Mom. Not the boobs.”

He still watches for the laughs.

Surely I can’t be serious. But yes, I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

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