Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Why Gwyneth Paltrow Is The Devil

I have made it clear several times that I hate Gwyneth Paltrow.  It was asked on my Facebook post why I hated her so much.  So, I am going to list the reasons why I hate GP.

GP was born to Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner.   Bruce was a big shot behind the scenes.  Blythe is an acclaimed actress.  I should note, that despite having spawned the devil incarnate, I love Blythe.  But it is probably her fault that GP is as annoying as she is.   Her godfather is Steven Speilberg for goodness sake!

She is pretentious.  Just visit her lifestyle website if you are unsure of how far away from reality she actually is.  Not everyone is rich.  Affordable gifts are not in the $300 to $500 range for normal people. 

This is a $200 gold plated rattle.  Really GP?

She says things like this.

"Brits are far more intelligent and civilised than Americans. I love the fact that you can hail a taxi and just pick up your pram and put in the back of the cab without having to collapse it. I love the parks and places I go for dinner and my friends. It's a pretty city, you know."

And this.

"Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick."

There are so many, but here is one more.

"We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature---all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, 'Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you're wearing?' and I thought, I can't stay here. I have to get back to Europe."
Fine GP, stay in Europe!

In 1999 she beat out Meryl Streep and Cate Blanchett for Best Actress.  She was not worthy for her performance in "Shakespeare in Love".   It was pathetic.  That movie should not have won best picture over "Saving Private Ryan".  Just wrong.  And her acceptance speech was one of the worst in Oscar history. 

She named everyone she was related to like she was getting paid to endorse them.  Rather than just saying thanks Mom and Dad, she thanked Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow.   Seriously?

And is it just me or does her ill-fitting dress remind anyone else of the dress Carrie wore to the prom.

She dumped Ben Affleck.

And Brad Pitt.

And ended up with this guy?

She named her kid Apple, "because apples are whole, sweet and crisp." 

Poor kid. 

And finally.  The last reason I hate GP.

She can't act.  She isn't authentic and is actually kind of cold.  She can't pull off  being real.  She just stands too straight or something.  And her laugh is really fake. 

Do you want to know one of my favorite moment in one of her films? 

I loved the end of "Seven". 

And that is why I hate her.